I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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