My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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