I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
