Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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