i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
