do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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