there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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