Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
