she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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