One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
