would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
