How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
