So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
