i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
