Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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