I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
