Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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