i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
MIDGETS
????
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
