He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
