I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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