GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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