these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize