does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
