i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
