I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In other news, I just burned my penis
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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