Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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