My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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