i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
