I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
