You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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