do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
