I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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