Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
