Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
