um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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