guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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