chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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