I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
then he tried to convert me to islam
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize