I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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