well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
