She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
