i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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