doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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