woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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