Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
