HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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