White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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