Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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