I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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