For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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