Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
