Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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