finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
