I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize