im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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