I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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