We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
