your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
