oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
