Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
