Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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