I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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