I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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