Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
