We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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