youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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