nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
