how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
