my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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