I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize