I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
