No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
