Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize