I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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