we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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