I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize