I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
